Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
