i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
