Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
