I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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