bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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