Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
