Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
