He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
