so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
