Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
