My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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