I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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