so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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