apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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