____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
