Ambien. No doubt about it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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