fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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