Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
