It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
