Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
