You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
