names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize