You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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