I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
