He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
