someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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