Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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