I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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