If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
