Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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