Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I FOUND THE LEGS
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize