I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize