Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
