we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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