On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just saw a hot homeless man
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
