Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
