I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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