Porn is love you can see.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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