he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm both gender and math confused
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
