Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I think my moral compass just broke
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