Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
