I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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