i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
