I CAN MOONWALK!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
