Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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