oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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