ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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