Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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