After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
