It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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