So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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