I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Randomize
