bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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