Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
