I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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