I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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