Acid is not a monday night drug
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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