2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
two words...techno handjob
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
