i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
