Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
