Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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