You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
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Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
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Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang