Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
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Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
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I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.