wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i will never coherently bang her
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
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i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
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If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.