He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
