you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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