I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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