if i can run in heels then i can drive
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
